Why I say no when someone asks to pet my people reactive dog

My husband recoils in horror at my very mean reaction when an overexcited child beetles up to us with arms wheeling around in joy, "cute dog! Cute dog!"

He is cute.

The correct protocol is carried out, the parent asks if it's okay to stroke the dog, but my reply is, "sorry, no. He's nervous".

Yes I seem mean, the child's face falls in disappointment, everyone feels a bit dejected. I of course thank them for asking, but there is reason to ask.

Should I have said yes, nothing awful would have happened. Badger wouldn't have barked or growled, but he would have frozen. He would have flinched and he would have trusted me a bit less.

He can be reactive to people, that's because people scare him. He is small, they are big, some move strangely, some dress strangely, some are loud and some ambush him in the street or park. He is quite happy to coexist but he would prefer to do it from a distance.

I have worked with many reactive dogs and I find one of the best steps, is to teach the dog you are there for them. Often enough they are on the lead anyway, you have taken away their option to run so it's the least you can do. Eye contact or stress signals mean 'I'm too close,' it's important to listen to that. To say 'that's okay, let's take a wider birth'.

"Off we go" no need to react, no need to panic. We can move away together. Not only does the dog feel calmer that you get him or her, but they will head to you in future when they feel scared, rather than trying to see the threat off themselves.

It's like that thing when you are afraid of spiders, and someone thinks it's funny to wave the pot they have caught one in at you. I'm going to get angry, maybe lash out, maybe even plot revenge (yes I'm really scared of them). Most of all, when there is a spider around, I don't want to be anywhere near you.

So for those people I say no to when all seems fine, please don't be offended. Rescues aren't always easy and It's just part of our process and maybe one day I'll be able   to say yes.

Georgie Bleza